Hinata and the Stale Norwegian Pretzel and Swedish Food Festival
by Girl in My Mirror Is Crying
Summary: Hinata's school is having a food festival and they also get a exchange student. Nothing bad, right?
1. Chapter 1

It was one of those normal days in Konoha; it was September 29 and it was only 36 F (2.2 C) outside and it was just noon. They had already gotten a foot of snow last night and everyone could've sworn that global freezing was happening, the amount of believe to this was as logical as believing that Pamela Anderson had those same sized breasts when she was eight years old. Hyuga Hinata, a girl with blue hair that looked similar to the shade inside of her grandma's 1992 Cadillac Deville sedan that her grandma got by lifting up her shirt and showing her bra to the lawyer who represented Garth Brooks and a charge for going inside a woman's restaurant in downtown Augusta, Maine to play "Baby Boy" by Beyonce. Yes, Hinata's granny Hyuga Elizabeth Betsu got a car that was 24 years old, but it smelt like it was made twenty minutes ago. It was enough to make Neji sneak over to Hinata's house and take a four hour nap in the backseat.

Despite the cold weather, Hinata didn't look at the forecast beforehand and had a thong under her ninja pants. Her tutu was really cold and she hated that she didn't put on granny panties like Neji had on. She wanted to impress Naruto, not make him want to get psychiatric help at a hospital in Madrid by someone who couldn't even read Japanese that was written on a chalkboard. Hinata was busy in her favorite class, "Understanding the Hidden Philosophy of Using Your Jutsu in the Kitchen". It was a course that demonstrated stuff like taking out the trash with your powers by moving your hands at a certain angle and how to chop onions blindfolded by allowing your Jutsu to guide you, but there were a few conditions you had to fulfill first before you could even do some of these; first, you couldn't be wearing anything black. Second, you had to drive of Mitsubishi. Three, you couldn't listen to Oprah on your car radio, and four, you had to have at least gotten a Voltorb on Pokemon Go. If you didn't fulfill these conditions, you were not allowed to take this class.

There were eight people in this class, Hinata, TenTen, Naruto, Neji, Sakura, and three other niggas whose names weren't known. They were watching Kakashi talk about random shit, like the time he took a shit inside a Walmart in Montreal and didn't flush the toilet and caused it to overflow when the guy who went inside after him took a shit on top of Kakashi's shit and then flushed it. Kakashi used an escape jutsu and managed to go back to Calgary where he got his special polish for his face mask.

"Yeah, I remember the time I taught you that jutsu for turning on the water faucet," said Kakashi as he put his hands down to his ankles and began to make a really weird finger motion. The water turned on magically as he did that and Hinata began to clap her hands. The sound of her palms colliding with one another sounded exactly like diarrhea after you ate a mushroom and onion sandwich your uncle made you after he got home from his job as a part-time strip club bouncer. Sakura cringed her nose at the sound Hinata's hands made when she clapped. So did everyone else; it sounded so nasty that it smelt bad, too.

"Kakashi-sensei, please let Hinata come forth so she can wash her hands," said Neji as he laughed at his cousin.

"Hmm, yes. I could've sworn that someone had diarrhea after listening to that," he said as he motioned for her.

Hinata sighed and went to the sink. Kakashi started to do a weird hand motion and the soap appeared and he gave it to her.

"Your hands sound like diarrhea, nigga," he said. "Clean them or I will tell Tsunade that we don't like you."

Hinata sighed as she washed her hands. She wanted Tsunade to like her because Tsunade invited all the people she liked to the strip club on Tuesday afternoons.

"Now," said Kakashi as he threw a roll of paper towels at Hinata that knocked her over, "a friendly reminder for all you jerks. There is a Swedish festival tomorrow and I expect you all to at least attend it. Your extra credit is to make something that Swedish eat for the festival. Oh, yeah, and we have a Norwegian student attending the class. He is one of sixteen shinobi's of the entire country of Norway."

A guy appeared at the door and he had very light brown hair and a necklace that said, "Turnips" in Kanji. (蕪) It was the weirdest thing to ever exist other than a Bojangles in Thailand that had burgers made of ants. Hinata was curious and said,

"Why do you have the Kanji for turnips on you?"

"My family had an awesome turnip garden!" he said in Japanese with an extremely heavy Norwegian accent. "I love turnips!"

"I hate turnips!" shouted Neji and TenTen together. They both laughed and then began to French kiss right in front of the entire class, causing Kakashi to vomit into the sink.

"Class, shut the fuck up!" said Kakashi as he clapped his hands together. When he did that, blue smoke came out of them and said, "Sorry, niggas."

"So, tell us a little bit about yourself," said Sakura to the Norwegian guy.

"My name is Daniel," he said, "and I love chips and salsa that were made in Taiwan. But my favorite thing I like to eat are Kringla, which are Norwegian pretzels! I like the kind with crushed almonds on them, too!"

"That sounds so romantic," said a random shinobi in the class. The class turned around and threw tomatoes at him. They splattered against his face and he fell over and laughed as he ate the free tomatoes.

"Norwegian pretzels?" whispered Hinata out of curiosity.

"Yes, and I brought some," said Daniel as he took out a tin. The pretzels were covered with almonds and Hinata was drooling so bad that her panties were wet with excitement. Daniel went around and he began to distribute them among his classmates. Kakashi looked at Daniel as if Daniel had just stole the 1985 Lincoln Town Car that Kakashi's mom had stolen from a drug dealer in San Antonio in 1987. Once all the shinobi's got a fucking pretzel, Hinata began to inhale the scent of it and showed more attraction to it than she did to Naruto.

"Thank you, Daniel-kun," said Hinata as she grabbed the pretzel. She was so glad to get a Norwegian pretzel! It smelt pretty good, but when Hinata bit into it...something was off. It didn't taste particularly fresh at all. In fact, it was pretty stale! As soon as she finished swallowing her bite and her throat settled, Hinata immediately farted so loudly that it broke the chair underneath her! She fell down and it made a crash that was so loud that you could probably hear it from the other side of the school. Hinata farted again and a piece of wood that was part of the desk and it went flying towards the blackboard towards Kakashi. Kakashi did a handspring out of the way and the piece of wood pierced the blackboard.

"Hyuga Hinata!" shouted Kakashi. "What the hell is wrong with you? You just farted and broke that desk which we stole from a rich school in San Diego! What do you have to say for yourself?"

Hinata closed her eyes and grunted, releasing a fart that was so powerful that it was slice in half by her thong and it was evenly divided among the classroom who all started gagging at the smell.

"My pretzel is stale!" said Hinata as she took another bite and threw it at Kakashi. It hit him in the penis and he fell over in pain. Hinata farted again and jumped out of the window and ran into the blinding snow, crying as she farted the whole time.


	2. Hinata Makes Swedish Food at Home

Hinata could've sworn that the song "Cold Outside" by Ludacris was playing as she began running through the snow. How could she even dare thinking about going to school again after farting so loudly, and why did she think it was a good idea to wear a thong under her pants? Hinata knew that the best thing to do was to go home and make something for the Swedish food festival. Don't get it wrong; Hinata liked Sweden, but why didn't select something a bit more common like Mexican? No...no...that would be even worse. She couldn't even begin to imagine how bad her farts would be if they brought in Mexican. Sakura would probably make a bean burrito that would make Hinata fart until she was 28.

Hinata finally go home and decided to go to a website that served international types of food. She selected the Swedish flag, but when she did that, the entire page was in Swedish and she clicked back and went to Google.

"Swedish food for Japanese school festivals," she typed into google. She didn't know what to get out it, but it was worth a try. Of course, her suspicions were confirmed. She sighed and typed in "Swedish recipes". When she did, a lot of pages showed up and she decided to make something of medium difficulty. She didn't want to make something that would be overly simple, but she didn't want to make something that would be in a five star restaurant in Stockholm. Hinata felt her stomach grumble and she let out another fart from stink circle. At least she could do this alone and not get laughed at.

Hinata went to twitter and saw that Chouji the Fatass made a key lime pie and that gave her idea. She typed into the computer for any Swedish key lime pie recipes and sadly found none. So apparently the Swedes did not eat them. A shame, really. But she did think of making a pie that would be popular in Sweden and found something called a Vasterbotten pie, or a type of pie eaten at a crayfish party. She saw several recipes but thought it was pretty simple, so she decided to find something else to make with it. This was the recipe she found:

 _125 g (1 cup) plain (all-purpose) flour_

 _pinch of salt_

 _100 g (7 tbsp) butter (1 stick less one tbsp), cut into small cubes 2 tbsp_

 _cold water 225 g (8 oz)_

 _Västerbottensost or mature (sharp) Cheddar, grated_

 _3 eggs_

 _200 ml (¾ cup) whipping cream or double (heavy) cream salt and freshly ground black pepper_

Hinata was watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club and was jealous at how sexy Rin looked. She wished Naruto was that good looking, but he was the only one who liked her' really. After wasting about ten minutes, Hinata found a recipe for Swedish meatballs, but that seemed overly cliché and she bet someone else was gonna bring them. So she began to search for something with salmon since she had some in the fridge.

"Hmm, gravlax," she said as she clicked on a recipe. It said that it should cure for at least a week and Hinata didn't have time to wait that long. She found a recipe for a Swedish fish soup:

350 grams/13 ounces baby potatoes,

chopped 200 grams/ 7 oz salmon, cut into 1 inch pieces

200 grams/7 oz meaty white fish, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 tbsp butter 1 medium yellow onion

1/2 leek, sliced thinly

3 garlic cloves, chopped finely

250 ml fish stock (1 cup)

200 ml cream (1/2 plus 1/3 cup)

250 ml white wine (1 cup)

150 ml water (1/2 cup–adding more if necessary)

100 ml creme fraiche or sour cream (1/2 cup)

2 tbsp fresh tarragon chopped

2 tbsp fresh basilchopped

1 tbsp tomato paste

1/2 gram or 2 pinches of saffron Salt and pepper to taste

"This sounds good," said Hinata as she printed both recipes off and went into the kitchen. She wanted to be a good little kunoichi and decided that these two things would serve as a sufficient apology for jumping out of the window during class.

Hinata started to use her jutsu to get the ingredients together and it took her about two minutes to get everything together. She decided to have some music play in the background so she started the "2 B A Master" soundtrack from Pokemon. She felt like her skills would qualify to get on Iron Chef, but she felt that her skills were only good enough to open a food truck stand outside of a ghetto in Houston where people usually have to pawn their old socks in order to get a beer. Hinata couldn't stop thinking of Daniel and his necklace with the kanji for turnip. It was really kinky in its own way and she wondered why he was here when he wasn't even Swedish. It was a little odd to a small degree, but nonetheless, Hinata was glad to see a white person.

Hinata took about twenty minutes getting the soup ready and decided that it was now the time to work on the pie. She hoped that nobody had diarrhea after eating it since Japan had a lactose intolerant people, but even if they did, it wasn't like they'd die from it. Hinata finally finished her food in about three hours and then...something was going on.

"Oh, no...no...Not again!" she shouted as she leaned against the table and farted really loudly. It was about 103 decibels loud and it took about six seconds for it to all come out. The vibrations of her sphincter were so intense she had tears coming out. This was without a doubt the most painful thing she ever experienced and she wished so badly that Naruto was here to comfort her, but she bet that he would run away if he heard her farting continuously. What was she to do?

At 7:24 p.m., Hinata was in the shower. She was washing her eyelids when the rumbling appeared again. She couldn't make it in time to the toilet and farted bubbles out of her asshole after washing it without rinsing the soap out!

"OWW! MY ASSHOLE STINGS!" she screamed in pain as she got on the toilet to take a piss. What was she gonna do now? Her asshole felt like raw hamburger meat, but she couldn't do anything about it now. She got out of the shower once she finished and she got in the bed. It was 8:14 p.m. and it was down to 25 F (-3.9 C) and it was expected to get to just 35 F (1.67 C) tomorrow with a low of 22 F (-5.55 C). Why was it so cold? It was usually around 55 F (12.78 C) this time of year. But at least she could wear a large jacket that could make her tiny titties large.

Dang it all!


	3. Hinata Returns to School

Hyuga Hinata woke up at 6:21 and saw that it was snowing outside. She looked at her kinky phone and saw that it was 26 F (-3.33 C). She knew one thing for sure. She was not going to wear another thong under her pants today. She went to his mother's room and got a pair of granny panties and sprayed them with Febreeze and put them on over her crusty pussy which she didn't even wash well when she took a shower. Mainly because she couldn't do it in time because she was farting so loudly in the shower.

She went to the fridge and got her food for the Swedish food festival. One thing that lingered through her mind was if Daniel thought she was a creep for A) farting really loudly B) destroying a desk and sending a piece of wood hurling towards the blackboard C) that she threw the pretzel at Kakashi's tiny penis, or D) that she jumped out of the window and started running.

Hinata got on the bus and then Sakura stopped her. "Hey, nigga, did you know you're famous?!" said the pinkette in a voice that you could've sworn would appear in a song that you would hear in an elevator that was going to Ludacris' weed stash on the 28th floor of a building in Taipei.

"What are you talking about, dush?" asked Hinata as she looked at the other. Sakura sighed and took out her pink iPhone 3 and showed Hinata a video of the incident that occurred yesterday. Everything was recorded; her farting, the handspring Kakashi did, her throwing the pretzel at his penis, and her jumping out of the window. She looked and saw that the video had been up for 16 hours and already had 5.4 million views. There were already over 103k likes and there were 28k thumbs down. The title of the movie was "Weird-Eyed Girl Farting". Hinata gasped ans said,

"You can see the outline of my thong!"

"Yeah, everyone in the school is talking about it," said Sakura. "By the way, what are you contributing to the Swedish food festival?"

"Actually, Kakashi said you could bring something else other than food; it's also a cultural festival, you know," stated Sakura. "I'm going to bring my dad's brand new 2017 Volvo S90 so people can see what Swedish luxury is like."

"That's cool! I brought a cheese pie that is used at a crayfish party and a type of fish soup. I hope everyone likes it."

"Me, too, nigga!" laughed Sakura out loud. "I think Sasuke is bringing something related to vikings."

"By the way, do you know why it's so cold lately?" asked Hinata. "It was like, 63 F (17.2 C) last week and now we're under a blizzard watch."

"I bet it's because our culture thing is Sweden," suggested Sakura with a level of certainty more than when Halle Berry bought the wrong milk at a K-Mart in Tallahassee. "I wonder if the culture thing was Mexico, it'd be blazing hot outside?"

"I hope it gets warmer soon," said Hinata as they finally approached their ghetto school. Hinata finally went to class and Kakashi was standing right there and said to her,

"Well, well, well, if it isn't little miss farty pants," he said with both hands on his hips in a fruity fashion. "So glad that you could return from after all the damage you caused!"

"Look, nigga, it's the stale pretzel's fault!" retorted Hinata as she showed him the food that she got for the festival. "I made a pie and soup that is indeed Swedish."

"Good, I'll give you some bonus points, ho," said Kakashi he took out his pink teacher's book and wrote some things. "We'll hold the festival in the large auditorium and there will be multiple booths for people to put up the shit they brought." Kakashi began to wrote some Kanji on the board and said, "Look, nigga, this means, 'Don't fart in class again!'"

Hinata rolled her eyes and said, "Okay, I won't. But that doesn't mean I won't fart again in this building."

"Yeah, whatever the fuck you say, as long as you don't stink this room again with your nasty anus," said Kakashi as he looked at his fingernails. "Okay, so I'm gonna tell you niggas a little story. Once upon a time I went to Honduras and took a shit in a water fountain outside a fast food joint. The end."

The class booed at Kakashi's stupid story and then the bell rung. "Oh, it's time to go to the festival." Kakashi went to the door and skipped down the hallway.

Daniel approached Hinata and said, "I like you and I'm sorry that the pretzel was stale. I made them four days before I gave them out. I didn't think any of them would be stale."

Hinata looked at the other with a blush and said, "It's okay, Daniel-kun. I'm sorry I made such a scene yesterday."

"It's fine. I never laughed so much in all my life," he responded. He smiled at her and said, "Would you like to walk with me to the festival?"

She nodded and said, "Yes! Yes, I would!" He offered her his hand and she graciously took it and then they started walking to the festival.


	4. The Swedish Cultural Festival, Part I

Hinata was walking with Daniel's sexy hand in her tiny hand that looked kinda like the hand of that coach who was timing that race in Free!. She liked Daniel's sweet aura and she was especially jealous of the necklace that had the kanji for turnip.

"Hinata, I'm so sorry that my stale pretzel made you fart," said Daniel. "I hope that you are better than yesterday."

Hinata felt so happy that someone showed more care towards her than a blind girl towards a painting that would unlock her soul by touching her heart because the paint was made by someone who had never before had seen a naked woman. She liked Daniel's Norwegian accent and thought that he was really sexy and wondered how Naruto would react if she kissed him in front of the other.

"So why are you here in Konoha and not in somewhere in Tokyo or another large city?" asked Hinata out of curiosity.

"Well, I lie in a small area in Norway and I love the nature, so I found this place and so far, I'm not disappointed," said Daniel with a sweet smile. "The area is a lot colder than I expected. Is it usually this cold here?"

"No, it isn't," said Hinata. "I was just telling my friend Sakura, the girl with the pink hair in my class, that this weather is not normal at all. It's usually at least 59 F (15 C) here. But I'm a bit glad that's not really hot. Still, it is very unusual to see snow this time of year."

"Same, even in Norway," said Daniel. "I remember the first time I went to see my other relatives in Oslo and my sister farted when we were eating some herring and I swore it was the nastiest thing to ever exist. But I think yours was a bit nastier, but it's okay because everyone farts!"

Hinata smiled at what he said and he then added,

"Watch this." He clenched both of his fists and he farted at about 91 decibels. It was nowhere near as loud as the loudest ones that Hinata had last night, but it was definitely loud enough to get the attention of a lot people who were walking by. Hinata blushed with embarrassment and said,

"You're embarrassing me, nigga! Also, do you have anything to contribute to the Swedish cultural festival?"

"Yes, I do. I am gonna talk about the music group ABBA because one of their members is from Norway and I can talk about it better."

"That's so kinky, dush!" said Hinata as she smiled at the other. "I made a pie and a fish soup. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I will, because as kind as you are, it will be lovely!"

"Oh my gosh, Daniel, you are embarrassing me!" admitted Hinata as she giggled. "But do go on."

The two of them resumed talking and they soon reached the auditorium that the festival was being held at. Hinata was amazed at all the shit that was there; there were Swedish flags, traditional Swedish clothing, and the food, of course. And then you saw Sakura with her dad's luxury Swedish car. Someone else had a Saab despite the fact they no longer were manufactured and then you had some other stuff like blonde wigs. There were a lot of candles and other stuff that was very interesting, like viking culture and stuff.

Jiraiya approached the stage and said to the group while using a microphone that you could've sworn that he got with a coupon at Best Buy,

"We are very pleased to be holding our very first Swedish Cultural Festival and we hope you niggas learn something from this country that was randomly selected out of a hat. The hat that we used was actually purchased at a gas station from my cousin who lives in Tulsa and that nigga mailed it to me."

The audience began to boo at that old nigga's story and someone threw a Swedish candle at him and knocked him over. Daniel went over to Hinata and said,

"I'm going over to my kinky ABBA stand. You can come talk to me there if you want."

Hinata smiled gently and then nodded. "I will, Daniel-kun. I'm going to look around."

"Have fun!" he said as he farted a bit more quietly, more like around 84 decibels. The sound was drowned in the sound of the people nearby but it still smelt bad. Hinata went over and saw that someone was tasting her pie on a plate.

"I wanna hug the nigga who made this!" said someone she never met. She felt a bit flattered at what he said, and went up to him and said,

"Thanks, nigga. I'm the one who made it!"

The guy immediately looked at Hinata as if she shot the person who killed O-ren Ishii and said, "Holy shit, you're the girl that everyone is talking about!" He took his cell phone out and took a photo and uploaded it to snap chap saying, "Look at this farting nigga!"

Hinata snatched his phone and broke it and then punched him in the face. "You stupid nigga! I bet your mom used her whore money to get you that phone!" She then kicked the guy and the guy moaned before getting up. He then walked out of the building groaning in pain.

Hinata sighed and then went over to the food. There were a lot of interesting foods such as salmon, herring, meatballs, pork, blueberry tarts, and other stuff she wasn't entirely sure about. She grabbed one of the tarts and then walked over to Sakura and saw her talking about her dad's Volvo and all the cool features it had and whatnot.

Hinata took a bite of the blueberry tart and it was really good. Sakura said,

"Nigga, do you wanna get in the car?"

"Yes! I've always wanted to sit inside of a Volvo! And a Lincoln Town Car!"

Sakura opened the door for Hinata and Sakura got in the driver's side. That feeling returned. It was coming back.

"No, no, no, no!" shouted Hinata, causing the other people around her to look at her in amazement. She then released a fart of about 115 decibels, and it was so loud that a lot of people flinched in fright and dropped whatever they were carrying.

"OUCH! MY ASSHOLE!" shouting Hinata once again as she had begun sobbing as the throbbing burn of her anus was too much.


	5. The Swedish Cultural Festival, Part II

Hyuga Hinata, whose given name and surname could be written with the same kanji, just farted in the beautiful Volvo, everyone's eyes on her with more anger in their eyes than Blanche when all the cheesecake and olive oil cookies, which were made with peanuts that were washed in water that came out of a 7/11 in Chattanooga, were eaten by Dorothy because Dorothy just got a promotion to a full-time English teacher. Haruno Sakura, the girl with hair in the same color as anti-diarrhea medicine, had her mouth covered in disgust and looked at Hinata.

"Nigga, you just farted in my dad's car!" she screamed as she grabbed Hinata by the ear and threw her out of the car and she hit the basketball goal in the auditorium, causing it to crash onto the ground. Hinata farted really loudly and it was enough to send the debris flying and causing part of the wall to fall down. Everyone started screaming and Hyuga Hinata started crying again. Soon, a voice got her attention and it was Jiraiya. He picked her up by the ankle and she was now hanging upside down.

"Bitch, look what you've done!" roared the ancient shinobi as he pointed to the mess that was a part of her farting, although Sakura was part of the problem because she threw Hinata, but still it was technically Hinata's fault. Hinata farted in Jiraiya's face and he tossed her down to the ground and then Daniel came and threw out his Pokeball.

"Go, Jynx!" he said. "Use ice punch and then psychic!" Jiraiya was about to throw out his own Pokeball, too, but it was too late. Jynx slapped Jiraiya like a fruit loop with a hand that was frozen solid and it froze all of Jiraiya's body. Then with glowing eyes, Jynx threw Jiraiya out of the building and there was a sexy twinkle in the sky.

Hinata sat up and looked at Daniel. "You saved me, Daniel-kun!" she said in a voice that would remind you of the time that your refrigerator was breaking down and all of the food spoiled. He helped her get up and then he farted, too. Hinata giggled and then she said, "Let's go watch the herring juggling act."

They went to a table that had herring who were juggling knives. It was funny to see a fish that was about 14 inches long juggling knives. One wrong move and this nigga could've filleted himself and then everyone would probably life at him like the time that Sakura farted in class three months ago after she said that one thing that Sasuke and she had in common was that they had a cappuccino maker under their bed. Soon, an older woman appeared with a bamboo purse and it had some beads on it.

"What the hell is this shit?" said the woman as she slapped the fish with her purse and it dropped a knife, causing it to pierce the fish and it died.

"Look what you did, you old geezer!" said Hinata pushed the old woman.

"Who are you calling an old geezer, bitch?" said the woman with huge glasses.

"Who am I, Kreskin? How should I know what your name is, nigga?" said Hinata as she looked at the old woman.

"I'm Sophia Petrillo, dummy!"


	6. No More Loving Mrs Robinson's 4th Grade

Hyuga Sour Cream Marshmallow Hinata looked at the old woman was now sitting on top of the table. She was still wondering to herself why this old woman was here; she figured that she may have been the grandmother to one of the students who was here, but it didn't seem likely since why would someone Japanese have an Italian relative, but that wasn't any of her kinky business, was it? She could've sworn that the music from Foxy Brown's Big Bad Mama was playing when she looked at the old woman. Perhaps she made a new friend now, which now meant she had only one friend.

"So, old bitch," said Hinata as she sat down and looked at the old lady with a smile that you could swear was likely the reason that Hinata had never even had a friend in Mrs. Robinson's 4th grade glass in the 1998-1999 school year, "are you related to anyone who goes here? Your name sounds very...not Japanese."

"Don't be a racist creep, ho!" said Sophia as she threw a breath mint that hit Hinata in her elbow. "I was leaving the bus stop from a shit hole called Shady Pines and I guess I took the wrong bus. But at least this place has good food. Where is this, anyways?"

"This is Konoha High School," said Hinata. "I've never heard of Shady Pines. Is that a strip club?"

"I wish," said Sophia. "It is a retirement home where they make you make jigsaw puzzles out of macaroni and toe nails! I sometimes had to eat expired spinach just to go to the bathroom and listen to Trini Lopez cd's!"

Hinata didn't know how to respond to that, but then she saw Daniel appear and she began to blush and act like Yandere chan from Yandere simulator. Should she snap and do something extremely erratic, or would that push the Norwegian boy away? She didn't know how to handle her emotions, and she also didn't know how to handle her digestive track. So she farted really loudly and it caused her to fly out of the roof and landed on top of the basketball goal since it was in the gymnasium and she began to cry as her butthole felt like ripe cheese being distributed to old people at the supermarket in St. Paul, MN.

"Stupid ho!" shouted Sophia as she threw a stick of dynamite at Hinata, causing the basketball goal to explode and Hinata fell to the ground. She could hear the theme song from Balto play as she got up and she looked at Sophia and used a special bast of her gangster Chakra. She farted once Sophia teleported back to Shady Pines and was eating banana peels out of the garbage can.


	7. Love, Maybe?

**This story was last updated May 11th, 2017, in case anyone who cares wants to know.**

A few hours later, everything was cleaned up at the festival and seriously, nobody would have guessed that a girl farted and pretty much destroyed the entire gymnasium. It was just another day in Konoha, the town that had very little respect. It was amazing that this place was what a Norwegian boy considering going to, of all places. At least in the fire nation, they made killer nachos that you would swear was like you were having the best orgasm with your taste buds.

"So, uh...yeah..." said Daniel as he looked at Hinata. "This was definitely a weird day."

"Let's not make it any weirder, okay?" said Hinata as she looked away in embarrassment. Luckily, because people were afraid of being racist or some shit, they decided to avoid giving Hinata any kind of trouble so she wouldn't sue them. Hinata was glad at the arrangement and farted loudly in response, causing a lot of women to vomit in response to it.

Hinata went back to class and as if it were magic, the chalkboard was completely back to normal.

"So today, we are going to learn a bit about white people food," said Kakashi. "We know that a lot of white people barely season their food, but that was pretty much the reason why the British invaded all these Asian countries because they were like, 'Bitch, this chicken is so fucking bland. As well as this pork. Let's try to find some plant we can put on it so that it tastes hella better.'"

"I take offense to that!" said Daniel as he raised his hand in protest to the really dumb statement which Kakashi just made.

"Shutcho crescent dinner roll lookin' ass up and listen to what the heck I have to say," said Kakashi as he threw and earring at Daniel's toe. "I'll need that earring back, by the way. Now, the white people of the UK started getting mad that Buddha didn't bless them with plants that would make their food taste better, so they decided to go over to places like China and India and trade their spices for hookers-"

"That didn't happen," said Naruto, proud to admit that he studied this subject.

Kakashi frowned and got up and approached Naruto and said, "Bitch with the cheese slice hair, did anyone ask your smelly ass to give your opinion?" Naruto shook his head. "That's what I thought. If I want any of you to talk, which I don't, I'd say 'Does anybody have anything to add to what I said?' Well, I haven't yet, so just listen."

Kakashi resumed his lecture of lies that he probably got off some Cliff's Notes for the Ghetto Population that was probably nothing more than lies to try to convince people to read it as opposed to actually looking at a book. Kakashi then said, "I got one thing to say to you." He turned around and farted so loudly that you could see the fabric of his spandex puff out a little and he laughed.

"I need a fucking cheeseburger after that," he commented with a voice that sounded like Lil Kim when she ran out of purple lipstick. "Where the shit can I get some good quality food, as opposed to this greasy stuff that gives you loud farts?"

"I thought you liked loud farts?" asked Hinata.

"Your farts are the reason why we had to use so much money to fix the damn wall," said Kakshi as he took out a spike in his hair and pulled out an archery bow from thin air. He extended the string back and it went towards Hinata, but she used mirror force and the hair flew back to Kakashi's face, causing him to fall over. Daniel was pleased with this and commented on Kakashi's earrings, how they looked like something you would expect the mayor of Denver, Colorado to wear at a Mexican dinner. Not that that was something people would know immediately because, why would you wanna Google "earrings that the Denver mayor wears at Mexican dinners"? That seriously sounded like something that Kiba would do when he was bored.

Daniel stood up and threw the earring at Kakshi and said, "Kiss my ass, nigga!" He pulled down his pants a revealed a black thong and spread his asscheeks apart so you could see the black string and he farted in protest. It created a green gas that spread all throughout the classroom and Hinata spanked his Norwegian ass that jiggled like a pair of tits after jumping up and down ten times.

"Daniel!" said Kakashi as he shielded his eyes so he wouldn't look like a gay pedophile, like the one who ran for the Alabama senate. "Cover your pale ass that NOBODY wants to see."

"I wanna see it..." said HInata who felt a lot better. Now she could wear a thong again now that she knew someone else wore it and her asscheeks could press against the fabric of her pants as opposed to her underwear. Maybe she could find love with him after all...


End file.
